What will next year bring?
With eighteen days left in the year, many people’s thoughts turn to the next one. New year’s resolutions, new calenders, new day book schedules, and new corporate, family and personal mission statements abound. In the midst of a difficult economy and an increasingly mobile society, so many of us are questioning where we are and where we are going (physically, financially, spiritually) The short-term questions is, “What will next year bring?” We ask ourselves, and, perhaps, the God of our understanding, a myriad of questions regarding the year 2012 such as: Will I get married? Will I stay married? Will I have a child? Will I still have my job? Will I be down-sized? Will I get a promotion? Will I get a raise? Will I get a better job? Is this the time to make a move? Should I start my own business or hold on to the “security” (or the illusion thereof) of my day job?
So many questions to ponder. Obviously, I cannot speak for others, only for myself. However, I would invite any reader to pass along her or his personal and professional plans for next year and I will be happy to mention them in future posts. As for me, I will be taking a four month sabbatical from stage performing in order to immerse myself in the creative process. I will be writing new material for use in numerous comedic genre. From stand-up comedy to prop comedy (new material in more ways than one) to comedy magic (more amusing than amazing) to comedic voices and humorous song parodies (my guitar lessons commence is just forty-four hours), it will all be new, original material.
My plan is to re-emerge, onstage, in late April or early May of 2012 with a new and completely comedy variety show composed of original stand-up comedy material, brand new comedic voices and impressions, newly written comedic song parody lyrics (fueled by inspiration from my guitar lessons). Tomorrow, I will elaborate on my plans for 2012 regarding the locations and venues in which I will be entertaining.
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Oh to be noticed, liked, booked, re-liked, and, rebooked
Have you ever wondered if you were invisible? Were you the middle child in your family, working hard to do all the right things and nobody even noticed? Are you the person, at work, who does all the jobs that no one wants to do, while you watch everyone else get promoted? As former president Bill Clinton was found of saying, “I feel your pain.” I have two older brothers and two younger sisters. I think my middle child experiences must have been preparation for pursuing a career as a self-employed, comedy variety artist. No matter what I do (stand-up comedy, storytelling, sketch comedy,comedy magic, physical comedy, prop comedy pantomime, comedic voices, humorous song parodies, and one man comedy variety shows) or how hard I work at it (hundreds of hours writing and rehearsing original material) no one (at least not anyone in a position to book me) seems to notice.
I have tried “old school” marketing strategies such as putting posters in store and restaurant windows. But, alas, with all of the cell phones, iphones, ipads, kindles and other toys of modern technology, nobody looks up anymore. I have sent out literally hundreds of promotional packages (which are apparently being used as doorstops and coasters) to comedy clubs (don’t get me started on their so-called “bringer shows”) talent agents, hotels, casinos, cruise lines, event planners, resorts, and corporations. Given the pace of business today, I have to wonder how many people can allow themselves the luxury of slowing down long enough to open the envelope, let alone study the material inside.
I have tried reaching out by means of today’s technology. I have a web site (and this is my 70th blog post), a Linkedin (I belong to over 30 networking groups) profile, a Facebook page, and a presence on Twitter. I have even posted a few “visual jokes” on YouTube. Even with all of that, I can’t seem to get arrested (not that it’s actually a goal of mine). And don’t get me started on the subject search engine optimization (aka SEO). With so many scam artists posing as legitimate SEO providers (my spam folder is full of them) these days, it’s nearly impossible to discern which companies offer a legal service that would actually bring my face and name in front of the right people.
I am beginning to feel like the proverbial needle in a haystack. And no one goes out to the barn anymore. It’s not enough to build a better mouse trap. How does one place the new, improved mouse trap in view of those who have mice in need of trapping. There have to be some ways of “getting the word out” that, as yet, haven’t occurred to me. If anyone can offer up advice on how to maneuver the long, tricky maze/hall of mirrors that it seems, one must pass through in order to be seen by potential clients (not to mention an actual audience), this frustrated entertainer would dearly love to hear from you. I would also love to hear from other performers who can relate to my experience. Until then, I will keep plugging away. The formula for success, it would seem, is talent plus hard work plus exposure plus luck plus endurance. And the greatest of these is endurance.
Read MoreThe Many Challenges of Being a Stage Entertainer
In my next few blog posts, I will be dealing with the many challenges of pursuing a career in the live entertainment business. During my twenty-five years as a stage performer (clown, comedy magician, comedy sketch writer, comedy balloon twister, physical comedian, sketch comedian, physical and verbal improvisation artist, stand-up comedian, comedy song lyricist, prop comedian, vaudeville style variety comedian, and comedic storyteller), I have faced numerous challenges. From faulty sound systems and bad acoustics to double dipping, slow paying agents to clients who write bad checks or cancel your performance at the last minute (or try to get out of paying all together, I have seen it all (or at least, most of it).
The most annoying challenge (and the one which occurs most often and seems to be getting worse every year) is the rude audience or the inconsiderate audience member. I’m not talking about hecklers. While I have been blessed to encounter very few of them over the years, I have been able to deal with them very quickly and effectively. I am referring to people who, apparently, have never been taught the consideration required to simply sit quietly and allow the entertainer to complete his or her presentation. This problem predates cell phone and even pagers. The main culprit, along with a few rude, entitled people, appears to the DVD player and it’s predecessor, the VCR (video cassette recorder). The convenience of these devices – - – The fact that one can stop and re-start the pre-recorded entertainment at will – - has left some people with the impression that they are now in charge of every performance, even the live ones, which they attend or view. And therefore, they can interrupt a live an actor or presenter whenever they feel like doing so.
Whether you’re a musician, a comic, a singer, a magician, an actor, or a storyteller, I’m sure you can appreciate the fact that any noise or disruption can play havoc with your timing and make your performance much more difficult. From kibitzing women to good old boys carrying on conversations to parents who bring crying babies to shows to people using cell phones there appears to be no end to those who will unwittingly or, even intentionally disrupt your performance.
Once while my son, Brian and I were performing a comedy sketch at an Eagles Lodge, a woman walked up to the microphone and announced, “There’s about twenty-five hot dogs left if anybody wants one.” In the middle of the very next sketch, another woman approached the microphone and declared, “I lost an elephant lapel pin. If you find it, please bring it to me.” You can understand why I now use a lapel mic or and headset. A microphone attached to a the traditional, free-standing mic stand is, apparently, too much temptation for certain audience members.
Recently, while performing his one-man show on Broadway, Billy Crystal had to deal with an audience member talking on a cell phone in the middle of a critical scene. It’s bad enough that we actually have to remind people to turn off their cell phones (I would include “pagers” but I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw one) before we begin a performance. I recently attended a comedy concert where the opening act had to ask several audience members to curtail their conversations so the rest of the audience could hear her presentation.
My plea to audience members is this: Stage entertainers spend literally hundreds of hours writing and rehearsing material which may take only a few minutes to present on stage. Please respect their efforts and the right of the audience to hear them.
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Stop and smell the roses – - and enjoy the jokes, too – - Live, love, laugh – - Then do it all over again.
In the words of comedian Lewis Black, “We don’t celebrate holidays anymore. We just seem to enjoy announcing their arrival.” Lewis has a point. Some of the stores in my area (Columbus, Ohio) had some of their employees setting up Christmas displays at the same time the store’s other employees were putting away the Halloween display. So much for Thanksgiving! And the retail stores are not alone in their zeal to herald the coming of each new holiday without allowing time to properly observe the previous one. From restaurants to car dealerships, every business outlet seems to be in an all-fired hurry to ring in the next holiday with an enormous “deal of the century” sale.
And, apparently, entertainers are no more immune to this holiday heralding hysteria than retailers. I say this because the Linkedin group for stand-up comedians’ question of the week is, “What are your career goals for the coming new year?” Well, in the spirit of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” I have been considering what I would like to accomplish both personally and in the comedy business during the year 2012. Not unlike a lot of people, I would love to lose some weight (about 40 pounds) next year. Toward that end, I have pledged to eat less and exercise more during 2012. I would also like for music to be a bigger part of my personal and professional life. So I have purchased a guitar and will be starting lessons soon. My hope is to write and perform comedic song parodies (always giving credit to the writer of the original lyrics). I would also like to travel more. At this writing, I am completing my passport application with the intention of visiting Costa Rica next summer. And, like most people these days, I wouldn’t mind earning a few more of those little green pieces of paper printed by the Treasury Department (to help pay for the guitar lessons and the traveling).
Mostly, I have to say, I would like to make more people laugh and make people laugh more. This will mean writing and performing a lot of new material, which I really enjoy and look forward to. And, I would like to spend more time laughing (and not just at myself).
Here’s to the coming year, and surviving the last thirty-nine days of this one.
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