Oh to be noticed, liked, booked, re-liked, and, rebooked
Have you ever wondered if you were invisible? Were you the middle child in your family, working hard to do all the right things and nobody even noticed? Are you the person, at work, who does all the jobs that no one wants to do, while you watch everyone else get promoted? As former president Bill Clinton was found of saying, “I feel your pain.” I have two older brothers and two younger sisters. I think my middle child experiences must have been preparation for pursuing a career as a self-employed, comedy variety artist. No matter what I do (stand-up comedy, storytelling, sketch comedy,comedy magic, physical comedy, prop comedy pantomime, comedic voices, humorous song parodies, and one man comedy variety shows) or how hard I work at it (hundreds of hours writing and rehearsing original material) no one (at least not anyone in a position to book me) seems to notice.
I have tried “old school” marketing strategies such as putting posters in store and restaurant windows. But, alas, with all of the cell phones, iphones, ipads, kindles and other toys of modern technology, nobody looks up anymore. I have sent out literally hundreds of promotional packages (which are apparently being used as doorstops and coasters) to comedy clubs (don’t get me started on their so-called “bringer shows”) talent agents, hotels, casinos, cruise lines, event planners, resorts, and corporations. Given the pace of business today, I have to wonder how many people can allow themselves the luxury of slowing down long enough to open the envelope, let alone study the material inside.
I have tried reaching out by means of today’s technology. I have a web site (and this is my 70th blog post), a Linkedin (I belong to over 30 networking groups) profile, a Facebook page, and a presence on Twitter. I have even posted a few “visual jokes” on YouTube. Even with all of that, I can’t seem to get arrested (not that it’s actually a goal of mine). And don’t get me started on the subject search engine optimization (aka SEO). With so many scam artists posing as legitimate SEO providers (my spam folder is full of them) these days, it’s nearly impossible to discern which companies offer a legal service that would actually bring my face and name in front of the right people.
I am beginning to feel like the proverbial needle in a haystack. And no one goes out to the barn anymore. It’s not enough to build a better mouse trap. How does one place the new, improved mouse trap in view of those who have mice in need of trapping. There have to be some ways of “getting the word out” that, as yet, haven’t occurred to me. If anyone can offer up advice on how to maneuver the long, tricky maze/hall of mirrors that it seems, one must pass through in order to be seen by potential clients (not to mention an actual audience), this frustrated entertainer would dearly love to hear from you. I would also love to hear from other performers who can relate to my experience. Until then, I will keep plugging away. The formula for success, it would seem, is talent plus hard work plus exposure plus luck plus endurance. And the greatest of these is endurance.
Read MoreComedy Careers Discussed Over Steak, Chicken, And An Onion Blossom
Tuesday, I have lunch with my new friend, Bob Abdou, the comedy ventriloquist. We met at “Yogi’s Hoagies” on South State Street in Westerville (a suburb of Columbus), Ohio. Yogi’s serves up a great hoagie at a reasonable price. I would only ask that they stop trying to compete with the sports bars. Get rid of the televisions and stick to what you do best, serving great tasting hoagies in a friendly, community atmosphere. I come to your restaurant for the wonderful food and excellent service, not to hear soap operas while I’m trying to converse with my lunch companion.
Last night, my wife, Cheryl had dinner with ventriloquist and professional funny man, Bob Abdou and his wife, June. While Bob is a full-time entertainer, June is a full-time pastor. Now, that is an interesting combination. They currently live in the Clintonville area of Columbus, Ohio, but are talking about moving to Westerville, Ohio (which is where Cheryl and I live). Over dinner, at Texas Roadhouse (in the Polaris section of Columbus, Ohio), we talked about the possibility of renting some venues and putting on comedy/variety shows (Bob would do his interactive, comedy ventriloquism and puppetry and I would do stand-up comedy, comedy magic, prop comedy, physical comedy, and pantomime) together in the coming year. We discussed everything from how to market/advertising the shows to what kind of venues to rent and how much to charge for tickets. Bob prefers the idea of approaching bars and offering to perform a variety show for them on their slow nights. I think we’ll probably be implementing both ideas.
In the coming days, I will be talking with other performers from our meetup group (entertainers at large) about getting together to discuss performing together beginning in January of next year. Anyone interesting in joining us or hiring one or more of us to perform at your next event, call me at 614-891-7393 or contact me via this web site.
Read MoreBringing The Vaudeville Style Variety Show Back To Life In Columbus, Ohio
Since setting up a page called “Performers At Large” on meetup.org and joining several groups for comedy entertainers via Linkedin, I have made some very interesting new friends in the entertainment business. Bob Abdou is a ventriloquist who is planning to open a new theater in the Clintonville section of Columbus, Ohio. Bob comes to us from New Jersey by way of Texas. Don’t worry, he’s much better at making people laugh than he is at map reading. Bill Gladwell is a hypnotist, dating coach, and self-described professional mingler who lives in Central Ohio, but performs all over the country. Leo Bowers is a Columbus based musician who has just completed his latest CD. Leo is also a member of several meetup groups for musicians and singers. Kyle Kissell is a storyteller and performance artist who entertains audiences under the name, “Kyle the Unnecessary.” Don’t let the stage name fool you. Although still quite young, Kyle is a savvy, veteran performer who should never be under-estimated.
My plan for 2012 is to rent numerous venues and, in the words of Mickey Rooney’s character, Andy Hardy, “Hey, Kids! Let’s put on a show!” I’ve already seen Bob Abdou perform comedy magic, ventriloquism, and stand-up comedy at Eldorado’s Bar and Grill on South High Street in Columbus, Ohio and he did a great job. Now, I just need check out Bill (if we can get him to stay in Columbus long enough), Leo, and Kyle’s work and give them all a chance to watch me doing what I do (stand-up comedy, comedy magic, physical comedy, pantomime, sketch comedy, motivational speaking). Then, we can start scheduling vaudeville style variety shows featuring whomever is not already scheduled to perform somewhere else.
We will start with small, inexpensive venues like fraternal organizations and, after establishing a loyal following, move to small theaters, and finally to large theaters around Ohio and surrounding states. My plan is for each of us to share equally in the expenses, work, and of course in the profits.
Any stage entertainers (comics, magicians, singers, dancers, jugglers, etc.) out there who would like to “get in on the action” can contact me by telephone at 614-891-7393 or send me an email via this web site. I won’t promise it will be easy. But, I think we’ll have a lot of fun and even make a few dollars doing something we all love.
Read MoreOf Groups
I recently read the late comedian George Carlin’s last book Carlin’s Last. While I can’t condone the years of massive drug use, like Carlin, I have little to no use for groups. For every person added to a group, deduct 10 points from the collective I. Q. I’ve never been much of a joiner. To quote the late entertainer, Groucho Marx, “I refuse to be a part of any group that would accept someone like me as a member.” While I believe in God and did graduate from a Christian University (they didn’t know what to do with a comic like me, either), I don’t seem to fit in any church or denomination. At the last church I attended, the minister spent 15-20 minutes of each service reading jokes he had downloaded from the internet. Most of these “comedic gems” were old and over-used long before the internet came into being. If I want to listen to someone repeat other peoples’ jokes, I’ll go to a comedy club on Open Mic night. I’d rather pay a small cover charge than ten percent of my income.
T.V. preachers seem like hucksters to me. They tell to send your money to God, but, whose address do they give you? Organized religion manages money about as well as Congress. And each group looks to their constituents (I prefer the word “flock” because we’re all getting fleeced) to bail them out.
Both major political parties are a joke. The only thing third party candidates seem to accomplish is to divide the vote of one party so the other party can win. Congressional members from all parties make their shady deals behind closed doors then put on a show (like during the so-called bailout voting) for the public. If this is representative government, who exactly are these over paid fools representing when they make our money disappear faster than any magician could? It’s like watching a really bad pantomime stuck in a sad comedy of errors. But, alas, we get the government we deserve. We watch numerous presidential candidates each spend two years (while enjoying the salary and benefits of his or her current elected position) and over a hundred million dollars of others peoples’ money in pursuit of a job that pays only 480 thousand. Then, after we vote them in to office, we have the nerve to be surprised and angry when they don’t balance the budget. Wake up people! These people don’t represent the working class. They represent the corporations and special interest lobbyists who line each candidates’ pockets.
I think I became a performer because the only group I can truly relate to is the audience. Their collective honesty is inspiring. My favorite performances feel like a conversation with the audience. We seem to be of one mind. The audience is not merely reacting to what I have just said or done, but, also anticipating my next word or action. Whether I’m performing as an opening act, a master of ceremonies, or the feature comic, I find the synergy with an intelligent audience both inspiring and exhilarating.
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