The Many Challenges of Being a Stage Entertainer
In my next few blog posts, I will be dealing with the many challenges of pursuing a career in the live entertainment business. During my twenty-five years as a stage performer (clown, comedy magician, comedy sketch writer, comedy balloon twister, physical comedian, sketch comedian, physical and verbal improvisation artist, stand-up comedian, comedy song lyricist, prop comedian, vaudeville style variety comedian, and comedic storyteller), I have faced numerous challenges. From faulty sound systems and bad acoustics to double dipping, slow paying agents to clients who write bad checks or cancel your performance at the last minute (or try to get out of paying all together, I have seen it all (or at least, most of it).
The most annoying challenge (and the one which occurs most often and seems to be getting worse every year) is the rude audience or the inconsiderate audience member. I’m not talking about hecklers. While I have been blessed to encounter very few of them over the years, I have been able to deal with them very quickly and effectively. I am referring to people who, apparently, have never been taught the consideration required to simply sit quietly and allow the entertainer to complete his or her presentation. This problem predates cell phone and even pagers. The main culprit, along with a few rude, entitled people, appears to the DVD player and it’s predecessor, the VCR (video cassette recorder). The convenience of these devices – - – The fact that one can stop and re-start the pre-recorded entertainment at will – - has left some people with the impression that they are now in charge of every performance, even the live ones, which they attend or view. And therefore, they can interrupt a live an actor or presenter whenever they feel like doing so.
Whether you’re a musician, a comic, a singer, a magician, an actor, or a storyteller, I’m sure you can appreciate the fact that any noise or disruption can play havoc with your timing and make your performance much more difficult. From kibitzing women to good old boys carrying on conversations to parents who bring crying babies to shows to people using cell phones there appears to be no end to those who will unwittingly or, even intentionally disrupt your performance.
Once while my son, Brian and I were performing a comedy sketch at an Eagles Lodge, a woman walked up to the microphone and announced, “There’s about twenty-five hot dogs left if anybody wants one.” In the middle of the very next sketch, another woman approached the microphone and declared, “I lost an elephant lapel pin. If you find it, please bring it to me.” You can understand why I now use a lapel mic or and headset. A microphone attached to a the traditional, free-standing mic stand is, apparently, too much temptation for certain audience members.
Recently, while performing his one-man show on Broadway, Billy Crystal had to deal with an audience member talking on a cell phone in the middle of a critical scene. It’s bad enough that we actually have to remind people to turn off their cell phones (I would include “pagers” but I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw one) before we begin a performance. I recently attended a comedy concert where the opening act had to ask several audience members to curtail their conversations so the rest of the audience could hear her presentation.
My plea to audience members is this: Stage entertainers spend literally hundreds of hours writing and rehearsing material which may take only a few minutes to present on stage. Please respect their efforts and the right of the audience to hear them.
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Free Agency – - The Art of Creating Your Own Performance and Recording Opportunities
Greetings! My talented colleagues in the live entertainment business: during this week’s blog posts, I have offered two alternatives to paying comedy (and music, poetry, etc.) clubs for stage time (and pimping out your friends to pack the house for the club owner/managers) and/or waiting for bookers (for cruise ships, night clubs, lounges, hotels, casinos, etc.) to respond to your promotional packet and, maybe, give you an opportunity to perform and earn some money. So far, I have suggested 1) Performing at retirement centers (for free or for a small fee) in order to get plenty of stage time (to work on your material and timing), and 2) Getting together with other entertainers and offering to perform comedy showcases or variety shows for restaurants, bars, etc. on their slow nights.
Today, I have a third alternative to share with you. I call this option “Free agency.” This option involves working together with your fellow performers (stand-up comedians, jugglers, Illusionists, stage hypnotists, mimes, comedy magicians, ventriloquists, singers, musicians, pantomime artists, etc.) to rent out venues and produce your own live, stage shows. A lot of fraternal/service organizations have halls which are available for rent, often at a reasonable rate. The halls have decent acoustics (they’re often rented by country and rock bands). If the lodge has a bar and the organization is willing to help advertise the show, you will probably get some of the lodge “regulars” to attend the performance. If the lodge has a kitchen and a ladies’ auxiliary (forgive my sexism), you may also be able to offer dinner and a show to your audience and share the proceeds with the lodge.
You and your fellow entertainers will need to be willing to share expenses (hall rental, advertising), setting up (chairs, tables, etc.) and putting away down chores, and the proceeds. As I mentioned in yesterdays blog post, you can also take turns being the opening act, master of ceremonies, middle act, and feature act. You could also rotate set-up and tear down assignments. This way, the same people aren’t always lumbered with the most difficult and most boring grunt work.
Once you and your friends have made some money, you can rent an actual theater and record a live performance. Then you will have a CD or DVD to sell at future performances and on your respective web sites.
I will be implementing this plan in the Columbus, Ohio area along with several performers I have met through meetup.org. Anyone else who would like to join us, please contact me by telephone at 614-891-7393 or send me an email via this web site.
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Entertainers: You Can Accept the Comedy Club/Booking Agent Status Quo – - – Or Create Your Own Destiny
Attention: comedians, musicians, ventriloquists, comedy magicians, variety performers, mimes, stage hypnotists, singers, jugglers, pantomime artists, and all other stage entertainers! Are you tired of submitting you promo package (demo, pictures, one sheet, references, etc.) to countless entertainment bookers and never hearing back. And when you call to follow up, are they always “in a meeting? Have you had enough of the “open mic” (stand-up comedy, poetry, music, sketch comedy, etc.) scene? Are you sick and tired of paying five to ten dollars for every three to five minutes of stage time the club owners/managers see fit to dole out to you? Have you worn out or alienated all of your friends because the “open mic” clubs won’t let you onstage unless you bring at least five paying customers every time you pay to perform? If any of all of this sounds familiar, then, perhaps you would be willing to consider an alternative.
No, I am not selling anything. I’m not plugging any book, CD, DVD, or other source of wisdom guaranteed to make you rich and famous. What I would like to do is offer some free (my favorite four letter word) advice to anyone out there who is as fed up with the status quo re: booking agents, club owners, etc. Take a look back in history. What did our great grand parents do when they were finally fed up with the working conditions in the sweat shop factories, coal mines, and other work places of their time period? First, they organized. Then they seized control of the means of production. You can do the same. Please understand, I am not advocating strikes and boycotts (although they, too can be effective). What I am suggesting (and will also be doing) is that you take control of your means of production (your collective talents) and offer them to those who would appreciate and respect your abilities. Start by assembling enough entertainers of differing skills to put on your own variety shows. Stop thinking of other stage performers as competitors whom you should avoid at all costs. They are your colleagues in the entertainment business. You can help each other succeed.
Once you and your fellow entertainers are organized, start approaching local restaurants, bars, etc. and offering to present a comedy showcase or variety show on a night that is usually slow for that particular restaurants or bar. Why not try and negotiate a small fee or free (there’s that word, again) food and drinks for you and your talented colleagues? It doesn’t cost anything to ask, and you’d be surprised what some restaurant/bar owners or managers will give if you can attract a crowd on a slow night. You can all take turns be the opening act, the master of ceremonies, the feature act, etc. This will enhance each person’s performing experience and you just might make some good friends along the way. Some of you may even decide to perform onstage as a team. Successful comic actor Fred Willard (Everybody Loves Raymond, Back to You, Fernwood Tonight, America Tonight, Rosanne) started out as part of a four person sketch comedy troupe which was known as the Ace Trucking Company.
Tomorrow, I will offer yet another alternative to the so-called “tried and true” methods of booking performances.
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Stand-up Comedy is Alive and Well in Central Ohio
Last night, my beautiful wife, Cheryl, and I ventured from our home in Westerville, Ohio to the nearby metropolis of Delaware, Ohio. The reason for this sojourn was to enjoy dinner and a live comedy show at the Delaware Moose Lodge on Sandusky Street. After chowing down on fried chicken(everyone received exactly one half a chicken), baked beans, cabbage slaw, a roll, and cake, we sat back to enjoy the three Ohio comedians who had come to entertain us.
The opening act, Mary Miller from Johnstown, Ohio performed wonderfully original, interactive, observational comedy about women and men and then played the guitar and sang a number of hilarious parodies of old songs like the Bonanza theme song. She can actually play the guitar, has an excellent singing voice and is insanely funny. We will be seeing and hearing more from the multi-talented Mary Miller.
The middle act was a bit weak. A forty-something comic (whose name I can’t remember) from Akron who would have been more suited for a college age audience. He spoke so fast that, at one point, I almost asked if he had a bus to catch. Not necessarily a bad comedian. But, not a good fit for last night’s audience.
The headliner, Mike Conley may have been 50 years old, heavy (okay, he’s fat), bald and only 5’4″, but, as my fifth grade teacher used to say, “never judge a book by it’s cover.” From the moment he took the stage the comedic energy he exuded was like nothing I had ever seen before. Earlier this year, I saw Lewis Black in concert in Eric, Pennsylvania and, I have to say, Mike Conley was not only funnier, but much more animated. There were several times, during his performance, when I was actually laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. My wife said she hasn’t seen me laugh that hard in a very long time. And she’s right. The comedy gods have given us a very special gift in Mike Conley. His perfect comedic timing, his voice inflections and facial contortions, the energy of a young Don Rickles, his impressive physical and verbal improvisation were something to see. He is truly a comedian’s comedian. I would gladly have paid the whole ticket price just to see Mike Conley.
Cheryl and I had a wonderful time. After the great meal and superb stand-up comedy, we laughed and farted all the way home.
Read MoreA Call To Arms (and legs, and faces, and voices and where ever your talents lie)
Calling All Performers
I am assembling a troupe of variety entertainers (in the Columbus/Central Ohio area) such as: pantomime artists, comedians, jugglers, magicians, ventriloquists, mimes, humorous storytellers, physical comedians, puppeteers, musical performers, and the like for the purpose of booking and producing our own vaudeville style variety shows.
The idea is to share equally in the up-front expenses (venue rental, advertising, etc.), set-up and tear down work. Although we would rotate roles re: master of ceremonies, opening act, feature, headliner, etc., we would all receive an identical portion of the profits (except for back of room sales where everyone keeps their own receipts). Each performer would also have a say in choosing venues, dates, etc.
Anyone interested in taking part in this entertaining and, hopefully, profitable venture please contact me via the web site. I believe we could all have fun, make some friends in the entertainment community and make a little money in the process.
To check this out further, go to the performers at large meetup page.
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