Unique opportunities for stand-up comedians, comedy magicians, comedy sketch writers/ performers, and other persons of infinite jest.
I would like to wish a Happy New Year to my fellow entertainers, all you stand-up comedians, comedy magicians, ventriloquists, puppeteers, jugglers, dancers, singers, hypnotists, clowns, balloon artists, comedy sketch writers/ performers, improvisation artists, and other women and men of infinite jest.
My last post was in response to yet another complaint about comedy club owners and managers who who employ “pay to play” (a fee to get onstage) and “bringer show” (bring five to ten friends to get stage time) open mic policies. Today, I will talk about another alternative to the policies as well as how to get gigs during a time when prospective clients aren’t hiring entertainers due to the “sluggish” economy.
The alternative I wish to offer is using barter (accepting goods or services in lieu of cash for your performance) in order to get more opportunities to perform. During my entertainment career, I have negotiated barter arrangements with numerous clients. I have performed for many retail clients (Grocery, Department, Jewelry, Athletic), restaurants (fast food and sit down dining), gyms, and other clients in the Central Ohio area, for cash, barter or a combination of the two.
You can also negotiate barter arrangements with bars (drinks and food), casinos (food, drinks, rooms, gambling chips), hotels, and resorts (food, drinks, sleeping rooms, meeting/event rooms). You may even be able to strike a deal with a comedy club to perform for food and drinks.
Is performing for barter really worth it, I hear you asking yourself? Consider this. You can negotiate for goods and services you would, otherwise, have to purchase for cash. And the amount you get can be more than you would get in cash.
One public pool/gym gave me a year long, family membership for one performance.
There’s an old show business saying, “Work begets work”. Not only does entertaining for barter keep your performing skills sharp, it also exposes your skills to the entertainment buying public. In other words, barter gigs lead to cash gigs. All of these barter gigs are places to schmooze with customers and hand out your business cards and other Point of Sale devices. A word of caution, though. Also explain, to your barter clients, that the arrangement is to be kept in the strictest of confidence. Otherwise, the customers will want to pay you in barter as well.
Just to restate my case for accepting good and services from some clients in exchange for your entertainment skills. Performing barter will increase your seasoning (performing experience) and your opportunities to work for cash. And, after all, if your prospective has already refused to hire you for money, you have nothing to lose by offering to perform for barter. And you may be delightedly surprised by their response. They may even hire you on a regular basis (weekly, monthly, etc.). One more idea springs to mind. Pass on this advice to all of your friends in the entertainment business and you can all get together and trade coupons in your very own barter coupon swap meet.
My next post will be about New Year’s Resolutions. Again, Happy New Year! And may using barter as a negotiating tool in the year 2012 keep you and your artistic skills as busy as you have always wanted to be.
Read MoreWhat will next year bring?
With eighteen days left in the year, many people’s thoughts turn to the next one. New year’s resolutions, new calenders, new day book schedules, and new corporate, family and personal mission statements abound. In the midst of a difficult economy and an increasingly mobile society, so many of us are questioning where we are and where we are going (physically, financially, spiritually) The short-term questions is, “What will next year bring?” We ask ourselves, and, perhaps, the God of our understanding, a myriad of questions regarding the year 2012 such as: Will I get married? Will I stay married? Will I have a child? Will I still have my job? Will I be down-sized? Will I get a promotion? Will I get a raise? Will I get a better job? Is this the time to make a move? Should I start my own business or hold on to the “security” (or the illusion thereof) of my day job?
So many questions to ponder. Obviously, I cannot speak for others, only for myself. However, I would invite any reader to pass along her or his personal and professional plans for next year and I will be happy to mention them in future posts. As for me, I will be taking a four month sabbatical from stage performing in order to immerse myself in the creative process. I will be writing new material for use in numerous comedic genre. From stand-up comedy to prop comedy (new material in more ways than one) to comedy magic (more amusing than amazing) to comedic voices and humorous song parodies (my guitar lessons commence is just forty-four hours), it will all be new, original material.
My plan is to re-emerge, onstage, in late April or early May of 2012 with a new and completely comedy variety show composed of original stand-up comedy material, brand new comedic voices and impressions, newly written comedic song parody lyrics (fueled by inspiration from my guitar lessons). Tomorrow, I will elaborate on my plans for 2012 regarding the locations and venues in which I will be entertaining.
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Where I’ve been, where I am, and Where I’m going
One of the main purposes of these regular blog posts is to keep the readers apprised of my continuing efforts at writing and performing comedy material. So here goes: I recently purchased a guitar and will soon begin taking lessons. Lately, I have also been writing humorous parodies to popular rock, country, and Christmas (and other seasonal) songs which will become part of the new comedy variety show I will begin performing early next year. The show will consist of four elements: stand-up comedy, comedy magic, prop comedy, and, of course, the new comedic song parodies (making use of my new guitar and lessons).
The most recent turn in my career as an entertainer took place yesterday, when I enrolled in a stand-up comedy workshop which is to be taught at the Improv Comedy Club in Cleveland, Ohio during the first three Saturdays of January, 2012. The instructor will be none other than Dave Schwensen, comedian, motivational speaker, talent Coordinator for the Cleveland Improv (and former talent coordinator of both the New York and Los Angeles Improv Comedy Clubs), and author of several comedy “how-to” books including “How to be a Working Comic.” I am really looking forward to attending the workshop as all participants will be afforded the opportunity to perform onstage at the Improv. In addition, I am looking forward to meeting the other comedy artists (up to nine of them) and hearing their career stories. I will be driving up from my home near Columbus, Ohio. The other comedy performers, I assume, will come from around Ohio and surrounding states.
Once I have completed the comedy workshop, I will be renting small venues (such as the halls in fraternal lodge facilities) in which to perform the aforementioned, four part, comedy variety show throughout central Ohio and surrounding areas. Soon after, I hope to move the show to small theaters, and eventually to larger theaters. I will also, of course, be available to perform the stage show at private, civic, and corporate events. Anyone interested in reserving a performance date for this four part comedy variety show can contact me by telephone at (614) 891-7393 or via email at info@funnymanbobsimpson.com or bobsimpson1954@gmail.com.
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Entertainers: You Can Accept the Comedy Club/Booking Agent Status Quo – - – Or Create Your Own Destiny
Attention: comedians, musicians, ventriloquists, comedy magicians, variety performers, mimes, stage hypnotists, singers, jugglers, pantomime artists, and all other stage entertainers! Are you tired of submitting you promo package (demo, pictures, one sheet, references, etc.) to countless entertainment bookers and never hearing back. And when you call to follow up, are they always “in a meeting? Have you had enough of the “open mic” (stand-up comedy, poetry, music, sketch comedy, etc.) scene? Are you sick and tired of paying five to ten dollars for every three to five minutes of stage time the club owners/managers see fit to dole out to you? Have you worn out or alienated all of your friends because the “open mic” clubs won’t let you onstage unless you bring at least five paying customers every time you pay to perform? If any of all of this sounds familiar, then, perhaps you would be willing to consider an alternative.
No, I am not selling anything. I’m not plugging any book, CD, DVD, or other source of wisdom guaranteed to make you rich and famous. What I would like to do is offer some free (my favorite four letter word) advice to anyone out there who is as fed up with the status quo re: booking agents, club owners, etc. Take a look back in history. What did our great grand parents do when they were finally fed up with the working conditions in the sweat shop factories, coal mines, and other work places of their time period? First, they organized. Then they seized control of the means of production. You can do the same. Please understand, I am not advocating strikes and boycotts (although they, too can be effective). What I am suggesting (and will also be doing) is that you take control of your means of production (your collective talents) and offer them to those who would appreciate and respect your abilities. Start by assembling enough entertainers of differing skills to put on your own variety shows. Stop thinking of other stage performers as competitors whom you should avoid at all costs. They are your colleagues in the entertainment business. You can help each other succeed.
Once you and your fellow entertainers are organized, start approaching local restaurants, bars, etc. and offering to present a comedy showcase or variety show on a night that is usually slow for that particular restaurants or bar. Why not try and negotiate a small fee or free (there’s that word, again) food and drinks for you and your talented colleagues? It doesn’t cost anything to ask, and you’d be surprised what some restaurant/bar owners or managers will give if you can attract a crowd on a slow night. You can all take turns be the opening act, the master of ceremonies, the feature act, etc. This will enhance each person’s performing experience and you just might make some good friends along the way. Some of you may even decide to perform onstage as a team. Successful comic actor Fred Willard (Everybody Loves Raymond, Back to You, Fernwood Tonight, America Tonight, Rosanne) started out as part of a four person sketch comedy troupe which was known as the Ace Trucking Company.
Tomorrow, I will offer yet another alternative to the so-called “tried and true” methods of booking performances.
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Pay to Perform – - Bringer Shows – - What’s the Next Change on the Club Scene?
I belong to several Linkedin groups (Comedy Depreciation Society, Stand-up Comedy group, LinkedEnEntertainers, Night Club/concert Entertainers, Crusie Ship Entertainment, Entertainment Recruiters, etc.) which are specific to comedians/entertainers. I also host a page called Entertainers at Large on Meetup.org. I find these groups helpful in keeping my ear to the ground and staying up to speed with the latest information and topics of interest with the comedy and overall entertainment communities.
The most recent buzz seems to be the fact that clubs (whether music, poetry, comedy, or whatever) are charging “budding artists” (anyone who isn’t famous) for stage time. Five dollars for five minutes onstage is what I’m seeing, hearing a lot. If 12 people each pay $5 for five minutes of stage time, the club makes $60.00 for an hour, plus whatever they make on food and drinks. That’s all well and good, but some clubs have taken things a step further. They are now requiring performers to “bring guests” (usually 4 to 6) as an additional condition to get stage time. For example, my local(Columbus, Ohio) ”Funny Bone” expects you to pay a $5 cover charge and bring five friends who also pay a $5 cover charge plus order drinks and food (if you want to call it food). That usually amounts to about $100 for each comic who gets five minutes of stage time ($20 per minute or $1,200 per hour per open mic performer). And that’s if you actually get a full five minutes. If a lot of comics (say, twenty) show up, pay the $5 cover, and bring their five friends, the club makes a lot more money than usual. But, each performer only gets three minutes of stage time.
I usually tell my friends when and where I am performing, but I don’t expect them to come to every performance (they have jobs, families, and lives). I resent being expected to use my friends in order to help “pack the house” just to save some club owner the cost of advertising. And, if you think about it, there are alternatives. As an example, retirement communities everywhere are always looking for people to come and entertain their residents. You may have to contact them unless you are well known in your area, or you advertise), but they offer some advantages which make them an attractive alternative to the clubs. 1) You can negotiate a date and time that meets your schedule. 2) You get more time to perform – - usually at least 30 minutes. 3) You don’t have to pay to perform or pimp out your friends to fill the seats. 4) They might even pay you $50 or $75. That’s not a fortune, but, it’s better than paying a dollar per minute to a club and having to bring five or six friends just to get five minutes onstage. Most semi-urban area have at least 100 retirement communities within a 50 mile radius. Theoretically, you could perform at two communities per week for and year and then go back to the top of your list and start over. That’s 52 hours of stage time. At five minutes a pop, you would need to do 624 “open mics” per year to get the same amount of stage time. And how many friends would you have left by the end of the year?
Tomorrow, I will share another alternative.
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