Dysfunctional Humor and The First Smoker
Who was the first smoker? What did they have to give him to get him to try it? He was probably one of those clowns who would eat a bug for a quarter? You know it was a guy – - Women are smarter than that – - Or are they? Have you ever heard a woman say something like, “I just smoke for weight control.” – - – What does that even mean? If you can use that excuse, then I can say that overeat so I won’t be tempted to start smoking. I’m fifty pounds overweight, but, I’m still not tempted to start smoking.
I can just imagine the conversation and comedy of errors that led the inventor of the cigarette to approach the joker who would become the first smoker. I think the comical interlude must have gone something like, “You see, Billy Bob, we’ve taken some leaves and ground them up and put them on a piece of paper – - Then we rolled the paper and the ground up leaves into a nice, tight, little cylinder and glued the ends together – - All we want you to do, Billy Bob, is take the rolled up piece of paper with the ground up leaves inside – - put it in your mouth – - Not the whole thing, you fool – - Just put on end of it in your mouth – - Now set fire to the other end – - Inhale – - And tell us if you like it.” – -
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My parents had to make a few adjustment in order to fit into their new surroundings – - – They had to adapt to the strange, new, Ohio customs – - – Like walking upright – - – reading and writing – - – bathing – - – Going to the bathroom indoors – - – Working for a living – - – And, perhaps the most difficult adjustment of all, marrying outside the family – - – This last adjustment was especially difficult for my Uncle Daddy and my Aunt Mommy – - -
(614) 891-7393 or info@funnymanbobsimpson.com
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This is my first post in five days. Just got back from vacation. My wife, Cheryl, and left the Columbus, Ohio area and rented a house on a 120 acre farm in southern Indiana. I think it was at the corner of 40th and Plum (40 miles from the nearest town and plum out in the sticks). We also took two nieces (13 & 16), three grandsons (6, 9, & 11) and our beagle, Patches (12). They were a lot to keep up with for this fifty-seven year old comedian. It reminded me of the day when I used to perform a lot of vaudeville style physical comedy. Now I need some time to rest up from the vacation. It was great fun, though. We fed chickens, milked a goat, frolicked (first time I’ve ever typed that word) in a creek (or as my dad used to say, “crick”), took a tour through a cave (although only 5’10″, still managed to I scrape my head on a low part of the ceiling), and played relay games with ice cubes, balloons, and soccer balls. A good time was had by all eight of us.
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Welcome to my comedy Web Site and Blog Posts
Welcome to my web site. The content you will see in these blog posts will vary as my comedy writing and performing styles range from the spiritual to the irreverent. While I thoroughly enjoy the creative process of writing humorous material, I believe the first rule of comedy is “nothing and no one is sacred.” Thus, everyone and every topic is fair game.
Now, a little something about me. I was born and quasi-raised (thus, a lot of dysfunction humor) in the capital of West Virginia – - – Newark, Ohio. If your doctor ever tells you that you have only six months to live, sell everything and move to Newark, Ohio, because every minute in Newark is like a stinkin’ eternity. Growing up in Newark was good training for a future comic. I found it very difficult to take myself or anyone or anything around me seriously in such a bizarre environment. The first time I told my mother I wanted to be a comedy variety artist she said, “Take a civil service test. You’ll be the funniest kid at the post office.”
While being raised by blue collar parents in a small, blue collar town did not encourage me to even dream about a career as a performer, my surroundings always provided me with plenty of humorous material through the continuous examples of how strange life really is. As early as the sixth grade, I was performing sound-effects, funny voices, impressions, and observational humor to the delight of my classmates and the annoyance of my teachers and the principal (he was no prince, nor was he any pal of mine) without even knowing what they were called. Although I have been performing as a professional entertainer in the greater Columbus,Ohio area for 25 years as of October 19th (Since 1986, I have given over 4,000 performances as a stand-up comedian, comedy magician, physical comedian, comedic story-teller, clown, comedy balloon artist, sketch writer and performer, and pantomime artist), my career as an amateur comedy entertainer (like drugs, the first joke is free) really began way back in the mid-60′s. My earliest efforts at making people laugh usually resulted in an invitation to visit the principal of my elementary school.
I always have and always will endeavor to be seriously funny.
I sincerely hope you enjoy the web site and future blog posts. I welcome your comments.
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