Once again (this time as a discussion topic on the Humorous Speakers’ Bureau via “Linkedin”, we hear and read the sad refrain about comedy club owners and managers who require budding comics to pay for stage time and bring five to ten friends to the club in order to get a few minutes on stage. Even my local (Columbus, Ohio) “Funny Bone” Comedy Club expects each open mic humorists to pay a $5.00 cover and bring a minimum of five friends who also have to pay a $5.00 cover as well as order drinks ($3.00 for half a can of soda) and food (if you want to call that food). That’s about $100 for 5 minutes of stage time ($20.00 per minute or $1,200.00 per hour)? Do they really think we believe their rent is actually $43,830.00 ($1,200.00 per hour multiplied by 24 hours in a day multiplied by 365.25 days in a year divided by 12) per month? And, even if their rent were really that unbelievable amount, do they seriously expect beginning comedians and their friends to foot the entire bill?
What do I do about the pay to play/bringer policy at my local Funny Bone Comedy Club? I don’t perform at the Columbus Funny Bone Comedy Club. I honestly don’t believe any of my body parts will fall off if I never perform stand-up comedy at the local Funny Bone Comedy Club (So far, so good). I’m sure there are many successful comedians who once never paid to perform their comedy act at a Funny Bone comedy Club or any other pay to pay comedy club or bringer show comedy club. I, personally, would much rather work out my new comedy material at a retirement center where I can get 30-45 minutes and I don’t have to pimp out my friends, and sometimes I can even get paid.
I have one question for all of you who are complaining (and rightfully so) about the unfair policies of these comedy clubs. What are you going to do about it? ”What can we do about it?” I hear you asking. Well, if you’re too young to remember the fifties and sixties (and most of you are), ask your parents or grandparents about the anti-war protests, boycotts, “sit-ins” and the civil rights marches. I’m guessing some of your parents and grandparents even took part in these historic, world changing events. What about the bus boycott (Ever heard of Rosa Parks?) in Montgomery, Alabama in 1957? The owners of the bus company were forced to end their racist “blacks in the back of the bus” policy or face bankruptcy. This was a peaceful demonstration that brought about real, permanent change.
Every year we observe Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birthday by not going to work. Why don’t we honor his spirit by actually doing something? By standing up to injustice and saying, “Hell no! We won’t take it any more!” Why don’t we all band together? Let’s start by boycotting all of those comedy clubs that have “pay to play” and “bringer show” policies. And let’s tell all of our friends, relatives, and fellow entertainers to boycott them, as well. In the words of Nelson Mandela, “Agitate, old lions!”
Then, save up all of your pay to play money for a month or so, pool your resources and rent a hall at a local fraternal lodge (Elks, Moose, Eagles, American Legion, etc.), or a small, modestly priced, local theater. I know some of you have theater experience from your high school or college days. It’s time you put it to work again. If you’re not too proud to set up chairs and clean up afterward, you could even earn some money instead of paying money to comedy club owners or managers. Charge a small admission fee such as $5.00 and split the profits. Each comedian will get more than five minutes on stage and, quite possibly, make a few dollars on the deal. If the comedy club owners and managers don’t see the error of their way, keep renting out your own entertainment venues and staging your own shows. You’ll probably come to realize you didn’t need those comedy clubs, after all. And those comedy club owners and managers will realize they need you more than you need them. I’m certain Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks will be looking down and smiling.
I already boycott comedy clubs who use these policies. Beginning in the new year, I will be renting entertainment venues and staging my own shows. If anyone in Central Ohio (or anywhere else) wants to join me, you can contact me via my web site.
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